just my luck

well today is another day in the life of my wonderful life. I mean I just love my luck to death. I mean if it gets any better I think I might just buy a gun and stop my suffering. Here I was ready to get my paper and see my final grade and out the window that idea was shot. As usual the luck of Brian has struck again. My paper lost. No grade. The other great news my computer crashed and the final draft lost for ever. The only good news is I still have my rough-draft in my paper work. YAY! I get to start over. Well thats my luck, isn't nice to be brian don't you want to be me for the day. I forreal, please trade places with me I need a break. well untill next post wish me luck.

its such a wonderful life

well fokes as usual its another beautiful day in the life of brian. i'm thinking about changing my name. i'm serious! i cant stand any more great news. there will always be some backround noise worrying us all, guess it effects us only as much as we let it by thinking about these wonderful problems. my new worry is first i failed the ever loveing mess out of my fist pol. science test. and i am right at the point of do or die in the class. well if you are wondering i am doing. if i have to read 4 pagesi have at least 6 pages of notes. the real problem is my father. he has major blockages in his legs, both of them. only 10% of the blood flow is reaching them. he is in stroke/ heartatach zone. they are giving him a dye test to see where and how they may get this life threatening trauma taken care of. if no go on bypasses then they may have to amputate. if that happens, due to his diabeties, poor heart health, old age, and an overall bad physical health, i dont think he will survive. this could have came at a worse moment but it still is not a conveinant time. mot that it would ever be good news to hear. my life has so much happening in it and i know that if the worst happens i know i wont get to spent enough time with him before he leaves. we have never had a good relationship and my actions havnt be honorable and i just want him to see me do good by me and myfamily. it hurts. bad!

getting it done

well i keep hopping around from one emotion to another with no real sense of stable mental welbeing. i started off feeling rushed, and soon found myself pulling out of the slump with decent grades. last week how ever i had a rough go of it. my father was admitted into the hospitol and i missed a couple classes and got behind on my studies. my grades reflected the loss of sleep and stress overall. but i knew what i needed to do and so it has begun. i have been studying relentlessly in my pol. sci. studies. and even went after extra credit in one of my online classes. hoping to combat a terible score i recieved on last weeks asignment. so hopfully that works out and maybe we will have a quiz in my pol. sci. class today  because i know the material forwards and back. as always i think i am doing well in my other two classes. really looking forward to seeing my essy in english so i would know for sure but i'm not worried at all english has always been pretty easy to me the only difficulty i've ever had was from gramer and spelling errors. so working twards better days and doing my best as always, till next breakdown, bye.

wow

well i'm all the way into this college thing and i think i'm handling things just fine. i missed one day of classes and now i'm feeling a little behind. no big. had a test and i relize i need to poor more of myself into what i'm doing. i didn't do to well and i hope this is no indication of how this is all going to turn out for me. just got to keep focused and remember do all i can and leave the rest to god.

first time gitters

well this week has been full of firsts for me in a long time. i had my first real test. thenk i did good on it. the only thing is i was so nervous i could hardly hold my pen. i almost started laughing. i mean i was shaking like a kid taking his first kiss. feel real sorry for the teacher, he has to try and desifer my answers. my writing looked like i was trying to write something for halloween. then there was the ever present dreded first english essay. no shaky hand writing there been typing, somthing i am getting faster at already. by the end of my college stay i should be able to give any secretary a run for their money. this assignment didn't worry me for whatever reason. at some point in my life i guess i accepted that writing was something i was always going to have to do. by the end of highschool i secretly found i enjoyed doing it. i mean i might be no good at it but i realy find it easy and comforting jotting down my feelings, veiws, or rammblings down on paper getting them back. so lets get to class and find out how i've done on my assignments.