and another

really at this point i am watching my world fall apart. not that its so horrible the second time around. i just knew what the consiquinces were before i started. not that that seemed to have any effect on matters. i have had so much happen since thoughs first few days of class. some of it i cant even talk about because i am ashamed at how dumb and gullable i was and how severe it is. the worst is knowing that all the people around me are in it strickly for themselves. my wife, i shouldn't have ever let my parents force us back together. when they kicked me out right before class began i should have just waited one more semmester. i just got tired of having everyone think i was just dreaming about returning back to school. but i guess thats exactly what this has been... futile.... a pipe dream..... another account i can put down on the fucked that one up jack ass column! well i'll be damned if my wife doesn't hold true to her word i will hold true to mine she will get those damn devorce papers i should have given her years ago. now the only thing that really matters is my to kids, and they are at my parents due to the fact i cant afford to have them with me during school. oh and on the flip side i have lost my job so even the finite amount of money coming in has now come to an end because i cant pay my car inssurance. hell i cant pay anything.

well

As you may have guessed from my constant bitching that i have not had the ideal reentery into college the way i had hoped. it pisses me off you know how life throws the book at you and all. but this was so important and from the start it  seemed desten for failure. but i could have done more right. for 14 years i have supported my wife then we discuss things and desided it was her turn well guess what if you dont bet on you no one will. please pray for me my only salvation lies in god now. looks like this has just been a stupid last ditch effort in hummoring meyself before finding remedial life draining work...... till i die.... how ever long i can speed that up.

just another day

well it seems that i  may just make it through yet another week of shananagins. yes i may just do it. the final moment of the day will be my test in political science. i have studied my ass off, excuse the language. but i have. the last test i , lets just say, bombed. i did not do well . an f. not freaking good. i was soooooo disapointed in myself, study habbits, and overall performance in my efforts that i put my chin down and began to study like crazy. since that test i have made 100's on every quiz since. it makes me feel better but not good enough to be relaxed. i still worry daily about the outcome of my grade in that class. and as you may have read so far i also worry about every other damned thing in my little world. i think i need conceling. if i dont have a heart attack or stroke i may survive.